Friends, you may remember way back in January when my friend Katie tricked me into training for a half marathon in Door County, WI. Truth be told, all she had to say was that we should have an after-party at the Sister Bay Bowl and I was signed up before we got off the phone.
Besides going to Haiti this summer and watching the lives of the poor be transformed through the miracle of properly working limbs; I also plan to sit at the bar of “The Bowl” and watch the lives of tourists become complete as they discover heaven on earth.
It seems to confuse people at first. Bowling alley? Bar? Supper Club? But as they slowly explore each corner of the place where I would like my ashes sprinkled, you can see their faces turn from confusion to pure elation. It isn’t that it doesn’t make any sense at all…it is that it makes perfect sense.
Find me another place in the world where you can have a delicious steak dinner, drink an Old Fashioned, bowl terribly, switch to tap Stella Artois, eat cheese curds, dance your a$$ off, play an Angry Birds stuffed animal game (that will bankrupt you), and order some seriously amazing homemade pizza to take home for a late night snack AND I will be there! For the record, if you are ever mentioned in the New York Times, you are awesome.
And while I initially fell in love with the fun factor of this place, I have moved on to crushing on the family who owns it. Don’t tell my parents, but I am formally filing to be adopted. Nicest.people.ever. Not only did they say yes when I asked them to have a benefit for Haiti (even when I had never met them and poorly danced on their bar 7 months prior), they are excited about it.
Party Deets: Come to the Sister Bay Bowl on Saturday, May 5th (this Saturday) from 1pm-5pm and TEN percent of sales will be donated back to Haiti: Together We Move. If you know someone running that isn’t part of our group, pass it on! For more information on their exact location AND photos of my new family, check out their website.
Sponsor my (now muscular) A$$
Time to get down to business. I have put off raising the $200 I need to stay in my own condo till the week before the half marathon. I also need to raise my husband’s $200 for the 5K portion because even though he is a doctor, he asks me questions like, “should the kids go to the bathroom before they go to bed?” and “should I change her diaper [when it is full of shit]?” I don’t think he is even aware of the fact that he is supposed to be raising the $200, so I offered to help him. Side note: he’s actually a great husband and father. But he does ask those questions.
I know this is probably the 3rd or 4th email you have received this week asking for donations from someone participating in an athletic event, so I wanted to take a moment to differentiate myself.
- I used to look like a man.
Any IU women's soccer alumns who want to see a really bad photo of themself, message me for details.
- It is a run, not a walk. A long run that will take over 2 hours. Walks are lame. Unless you are walking in the Door County 5K, you are pregnant, AND you are raising money for Haiti. Then you are the opposite of lame. You are amazing.
- 20 months ago I was on modified bed rest and physically unable to grocery shop. 15 months ago I was 80 lbs. heavier, measuring 48 weeks pregnant (possible), and undergoing a C-section. 10 months ago I couldn’t chase my kids in the yard without my stomach bouncing up and slapping me across the face.
- 90 percent of my running took place while all 4 kids were napping. At the same time. Now that my training is over, the older two don’t seem to need naps anymore. I’m going to slip a donate button in here…. DONATE
- When I was trapped in Mexico on the vacation from hell (see the story here), I also had to train for this. Not.enough.Corona.to.make.that.OK.
- I have never been injured in my life but during the course of the last several months, I have: dislocated my shoulder, injured my right foot, suffered through bursitis, tore my quad, and most recently (today) injured my left foot. I blame the twins for the serious decline in my physical health (don’t care if they read this someday), but I said I was going to run this thing and I meant it.
- On the day of my last long run, I had to run 6 miles on a treadmill. Followed by 4 miles in freezing rain being beat by 30 mile an hour winds. Followed by taking all 4 of the kids to swim class where I was required to wear a bathing suit and sing songs like, “wheels on the bus” and “the washing song.”
- As I was frantically trying to get this ready to go out this morning, all fell silent and I found both a shoe and a baby food packet in the toilet.
- When we first moved to Appleton 5 years ago, I ran out of gas on the highway. I was too busy breaking company policy and talking on my cell phone to pay attention to the constant beep of my engine light. Luckily for me, my car coasted itself to Lomira, WI and died across the street from a gas station. Only snafu was I was in heels and I had to walk across 100 yards of freshly seeded mud, ask for help, then walk back across the mud while truckers howled at me. It wasn’t my best day, but when I got home, Eric had my very first IPod all wrapped up as a surprise. He didn’t even know what had happened, but he knew how bad I had wanted one and bought it for me. I still run with this IPod, even though it doesn’t play video, the screen is cracked, and most of the songs are by Destiny’s Child. I hope I never have to get a new one. Because once upon a time, before all these kids, my husband knew I really wanted an IPod. And he surprised me with it.
- Your donation is permanent and will forever change the life of human-beings who will otherwise be forgotten. Haiti is our neighbor and one of the poorest countries in the Western Hemisphere. Despite their total lack of material goods, they are some of the happiest, most grateful people. They do things like drive their neighbors 5 hours, sit in waiting rooms for 8 hours, and fall on the ground in tears of appreciation when they are told they can be healed. That’s bad a$$.
You can sponsor my dream to help them here, and forward your receipt to deassifyoself@yahoo.com:
This week the kind heart goes to Mary Kay Shumway, our fabulous realtor in Door County. Not only did she help us buy a condo that was basically impossible to purchase, she’s also become a friend. She loves her community more than any realtor I’ve ever met and clearly would do anything for her clients. From introducing me to the owners of the Sister Bay Bowl, getting Haiti: Together We Move news coverage, to attempting the rice and beans diet; she’s been there every step of the way. Kind Hearts to an awesome person and realtor! You can creep her here and hopefully meet her on Saturday at the Bowl!
Let’s do this!
Me running the Door County Half in 2010. I did it once, I can do it again....right? Dear God, PLEASE let me finish.
Dea$$ify Yo Self 